Why We Should Stop Teaching Our Kids to “Just Do the Job”

As parents, we’re often told there’s one thing we must instill in our children: obedience. Many of us grew up hearing that we should follow the rules without question, and now, as parents, we’re encouraged to teach our kids the same. But a recent experience made me rethink this advice. Is blind obedience really what will help our children thrive in today’s world? 

A Wake-Up Call

A few weeks ago, I found myself in a nerve-wracking situation. My car’s automatic braking system malfunctioned in the middle of a busy street. With my heart pounding, I managed to steer the car into a nearby commercial complex, where I thought I’d find safety. Instead, I was met with hostility. Three armed guards confronted me, insisting that I had entered through the wrong entrance and demanding I leave immediately, even though it was an emergency. 

I pleaded with them, explaining the situation and my fear of causing an accident if I returned to the street. But their response was chilling: “We don’t care if there’s an accident. We don’t care if someone dies. We’re just doing our jobs.”

This experience was both frightening and eye-opening. The guards weren’t bad people; they were simply following the rules they had been taught to obey without question. It made me realize how deeply ingrained this mindset is in our society—starting from childhood.

The Problem with “Just Doing the Job”

For many of us, being told to “just do the job” is a familiar refrain. It’s a mentality that has been passed down through generations, often causing stress and frustration for parents who feel it conflicts with their values. But is this really the best approach?

How often have you faced a situation where someone blocked your progress, not out of malice, but simply because they were “just doing their job”? It’s a mindset that can stifle creativity, hinder problem-solving, and, in extreme cases, even put lives at risk.

Rethinking Obedience: A New Approach to Parenting

So, what if we stopped teaching our kids to “just do the job”? What if we instead focused on developing discernment, flexible thinking, and moral courage? Here are three ways we can start:

1. Encourage Risk-Taking and Mistakes

Allow your children to break protocol when necessary and understand that making mistakes is a crucial part of learning. This fosters resilience and adaptability.

2. Model Values and Moral Responsibility

Share your experiences and lead by example. Show your kids what it means to make decisions based on values rather than rigid rules.

3. Create a Safe Space for Creativity

Provide an environment where your children feel safe to think outside the box, question the status quo, and develop their own sense of right and wrong.

The Impact of Raising Discerning Kids

Imagine the difference we could make if we raised a generation that goes beyond just following orders. Take, for example, the story of Tilly Smith, a ten-year-old girl who saved countless lives during the 2004 tsunami in Thailand. Recognizing the warning signs she had learned in geography class, she alerted her parents and hotel staff, who evacuated the beach just in time. This was possible because Tilly had the courage to speak up and the adults around her were willing to listen—going beyond “just doing their jobs.”

As technology advances and artificial intelligence becomes more prevalent, the ability to think creatively and make decisions based on ethics will be more critical than ever. Those who stick to just following the rules may find themselves left behind.

Journalist Sydney Harris once said, “The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers.” This is the risk we run when we prioritize obedience over creativity and discernment.

Conclusion

By encouraging our children to think for themselves and make decisions based on values, we can help them become the kind of people who will lead, innovate, and make a positive impact on the world. If you want to learn more about how to raise discerning, independent thinkers, check out my book, The Discerning Parent’s Guide to Toddler Behavior.

Up next, we’ll discuss our upcoming book, Learning by Heart: Teach Your Child to Read, Stress-Free, which focuses on teaching reading in a way that fosters a love of learning and prepares kids for the future. Be sure to follow the Discerning Parenting Podcast for more insights on how to raise children who think beyond “just doing the job.”